I can’t actually remember the last time I had a bath with a friend, but it was probably about 35 years ago.
It’s not an opportunity that crops up very often, but that’s set to change at Congham Hall’s brand new Orchard Cabins, as the star attraction of the sleek open-plan spaces is an outdoor bathtub.
Wiggling into skin-tight swimming costumes – after a three-course meal of roasted beetroot, goat’s cheese, plump pillows of ravioli and a decadent assiette of (not so) mini puddings – seems like a good idea at the time. (That might have had something to do with the delicious lashings of Fleurie we washed it down with.) And once the stainless steel silver taps are splurting water into the ginormous tub, there’s no turning back.
Bubbles spill over the top as we hurl ourselves in, seconds away from deciding an outdoor bath is exactly what every single one of us needs in our lives right now. Putting the world to rights while trying to stay above water, we fight back the giggles while debating the monstrosities of life in 2022.
The apple trees watch over us, swaying disapprovingly at the drowning slippers and robes mopping up our overspill, and the shrieks we can’t bear to keep in. The stars twinkle from a distance, promising a better display in brighter months, as we lay back and savour the dark night sky.
The Norfolk hotel has built five luxurious new rooms with outdoor bathtubs, all overlooking the beautiful apple orchard at Congham Hall in Norfolk. Launched to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the hotel’s management by Nicholas Dickinson (previously of Le Manoir and Luxury Family Hotels) and his team, the timing couldn’t be better.
As ‘The Great Resignation’ rumbles on, with people choosing to move away from cities and into the countryside, it offers a great taste of Norfolk life. Already, Burnham Market in north Norfolk has been nicknamed ‘Chelsea-on-Sea’, due to vast swathes of Londoners upping sticks and moving there.
Although Congham Hall is in the west of the county, there’s still an abundance of fresh air and green spaces, beautiful beaches, hugely affordable stunning houses, and it’s teeming with nature at every twist and turn.
As well as the outdoor bath, the new rust-coloured cabins (which look like house-shaped shipping containers from the outside), give you the option of bathing inside, like a normal person. Much less fun, but because one roll-top is sometimes not enough, you can take your pick from the brushed tin tub outside, or the pretty pink bath in the bathroom, both big enough for multiple bathers.
Inside the cabin, a squashy bed awaits our weary limbs, beside a large pink sofa, marble-topped circular coffee tables and comfy spinning chair; the perfect spot to sit and take in the views of the orchard. A green bistro table and chairs sit out on the balcony for morning brews and sundowners. It really is a place to relax, and the slow pace makes you feel like you’re on an actual holiday.
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“We’re in Norfolk, there’s no such thing as late,” Nicholas tells us as we apologise for our tardiness at dinner. We’re then encouraged to sup on aperitifs by the bar before heading over to our table in The Samphire Kitchen – a two AA Rosette restaurant, which has recently had a restyle.
We peruse the menus, shortlist wine and nibble on salty edamame beans. Game and fish feature heavily because of the location – Congham aims to source 80% of ingredients from within a 20-mile radius, as long as they’re the best available. And there’s a separate vegetarian menu, too. Mains cost between £20 and £30, starters around £10 and desserts about £9, but room rates that include dinner are a good idea. Wine is well chosen, around £40 for a really good bottle, and staff are attentive. The co-owners also wait on tables – either a sign of their hands-on nature, or the post-Covid impact on hospitality.
The Secret Garden Spa features a 12-metre swimming pool, steam room, saunas, treatments rooms and a new outdoor deck with hot tub. Roomy enough not to feel awkward when you clamber in among other guests, it’s the perfect spot at dusk, when pink skies light up the surrounding woods and meadows and the warm, gentle bubbles heat up our cold bodies.
If you feel the need to explore further afield, local walking routes are available from reception, along with pairs of Dubarry boots. We blow the cobwebs (and hangover) away on a flat three-mile loop, taking in the old railway line and local woodland. We’re told Old Hunstanton Beach is worth the 25-minute journey, but we choose to while away an hour or two at the local distillery, Whatahoot, instead.
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Whatahoot is an award-winning distillery and gin school, set in a beautiful 15th century building in Kings Lynn (about seven miles away from the hotel). We gather on sofas with AJ, who talks us through the history of gin, and the brand, and why husband and wife team Nicky and Jason decided to set it up.
“In the summer, Norfolk is beautiful,” AJ tells us. “But in the winter, everything closes – people need something to do.” And doing gin comes highly recommended. Whether you pop along for the distillery tour to learn all about how gin is made (£15), upgrade to a cheeky Cocktail Masterclass (£35) or go the whole hog and book into the four-hour gin school (£95, or £135 for two) where you make your own gin, you’re likely to wobble out with a big smile on your face.
My lips feel like they’re bubbling with dryness as the alcohol warms my throat. For someone who’s not a fan of doing shots, I seem to be sampling the straight gins without any trouble at all. Fiery but smooth, each variety is really quite delicious, and even better when you add a splash of tonic.
Back at the hotel, waking up to the early morning sky – light dancing on the fruit trees as I sit with a cuppa on the balcony – feels like a moment out of a self-care manual. And before we leave, there’s time to squeeze in one more bath.
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The cabins are positioned so each balcony area is private and not overlooked, although I do almost come a cropper when relaxing in the tub and a couple bring their dog for a walk in the orchard. Thankfully, the size of the bath and the enormous number of soap suds surrounding my naked body save my dignity. And it’s easy for my heart rate to return to normal as I sit amid the bubbles, watching a family of blue tits flit from one apple tree branch to another, the sunlight falling on their fluttering wings, nature’s soundtrack of birdsong filling the air.
Undoubtedly, I am an outdoor bath convert. So much classier than a hot tub. More peaceful, more sustainable, more stylish. It’s self-care on tap, if you’ll excuse the pun, and I really want one in my garden.
How to plan your trip to Norfolk’s luxury cabin
The Orchard Cabins are currently available to book on an introductory offer of £399 per night, including breakfast and dinner, rising to £450 per night from April 1. Contact Congham Hall Hotel (01485 600 250; conghamhallhotel.co.uk).
Stay two nights (Tuesday to Friday) in March and receive two miniature WhataHoot gin bottles and tonic to sample in your room, and a complimentary tour of WhataHoot distillery. Prices from £498 for a standard double room, including a three-course dinner on both nights and a full English breakfast.
Additional gin experiences at Whatahoot can be booked online at whatahoot.co.uk.
Great Northern runs an hourly direct train service between London King’s Cross and King’s Lynn, taking around 1 hour and 50 minutes.
